Fertility Shmertility

Testing

2008-05-20T22:01:00.004-07:00

I got a big, long anonymous comment full of religious shite today. It was back on a post from early 2006. It took me a while to find the comment (I got notification by email). As I was reading back through my posts and the comments from all the bloggers who supported me during my trials, I felt so sad that I'm not in contact anymore- at least not very much. I want you all to know (if you ever

One year ago today.....

2007-01-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

.....this little angel was conceived via IVF with ICSI. This day last year he was a little speck in a petri dish. What a difference a year makes. Little L is a joy. He is such a happy baby and I live for his smiles. Being back at work is kicking my arse right now. I am so tired and it is so busy and I already feel the guilt of being away. It is a constant struggle to get out the door in the

Goodbye 2006

2006-12-31T09:37:00.000-08:00

I began 2006 about 2 weeks into my second IVF cycle. My friend M reminded me that on Christmas Day 2005, after way one too many drinks, I was crying my eyes out because I couldn't get pregnant. B had already gone to bed because I was being impossible. I look back and think- no wonder lupron and alcohol!!! The horror! L was conceived on Friday January 13th, 2006. I remember it was also this girl's

4 Weeks

2006-10-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone? L is 4 weeks old today. He is a darling baby who has a little problem with gas pain but other then that he rarely cries (except for hunger and poopy diaper- he will.not.tolerate a poopy diaper for one minute) He is easy to comfort and I am madly in love with him. Today for his 4 week birthday- he smiled at me and my heart soared. Who knew he would have this effect on me.

Things never happen as you plan them............

2006-09-29T22:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes they are much better. My waters broke at 10 pm on Tuesday night. I delivered Liam at 3:49 pm on Wednesday September 27th, 2006. It was a wonderful, joyous experience from start to finish. I will post the birth story later. For now, here are some pictures. Thank you all for your good wishes and support. I couldn't have made this journey without you. At risk of outing myself. I'll give

38 weeks!

2006-09-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

Warning: At risk of sounding like an ungrateful bitch- this post contains copious whining. You all know I wouldn't change this situation for the world but I am oh.so.cranky. I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to lie down and read a book or surf the net but my house is like a bomb hit it and so I feel guilty because I should be putting things away but I'm overwhelmed because I don't

37 Weeks.

2006-09-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

L is now full term and can come at any time. However, he seems to be totally comfortable in his Mammy's tummy despite the fact that she can't sleep and prowls the house at night. His Mammy also has a cervix that is completely closed so it doesn't look like anything is going to happen here anytime soon. My 37 week check went well. My blood pressure is good. I do not have a UTI. Beta strep negative

36 weeks and 3 days

2006-09-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

I know, I know- I spoil you guys, two posts in two days!!!!! I want to write down every little twitch so I can look back and remember. Still no results on my urine culture, still no symptoms. I'm working part-time 18 hours a week- This seems more stressful than full-time because I'm trying to cram 50 hours of work into 18 hours- I need to let it go. Last night and tonight I have what I would

36 Weeks & 2 Days

2006-09-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

I suppose a little update is in order. I really am just a lazy slob. B has decided I will need reorientation to the kitchen soon so that I will someday be able to prepare another meal or load the dishwasher. A few weeks ago, I asked you to guess the baby's name- It begins with L. Quite a few of you guessed right. Liam. I think for now I will refer to him as L. Maybe after he arrives I can give

Goodbye Doppler

2006-08-02T17:23:00.000-07:00

I was having a much needed little tidy up today and I came across my doppler. Who knew when I rented it back in February that I would actually go a day without using it!!!!!!!! L. is moving around all the time now and I can do kick counts if I get worried so I’m sending the dear little doppler back to whence it came. It was a lifesaver in those early days. It put my mind at ease so much. Goodbye

30 weeks and other stuff

2006-07-30T21:26:00.000-07:00

I am 30 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Can you believe it? I think we might actually be having a real live baby. This is not something I’m prepared for but now that he has reached the stage of viability; my denial is not working so well. We’ve picked a name so Alf is now L. I’ll see if you can guess his name. Answers on a postcard please; to the comments section. Today we bought a crib and changing

Goodbye Paddy.

2006-07-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

PaddyJune 22, 1993-July 21st, 2006 Words cannnot express how devastated I am right now. He was my first baby and has been with me for 13 of the 14 1/2 years I have lived in the States.

Am I missing something here?

2006-05-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

See this story. You may have to register for a free subscription so I've quoted a bit below Parents of birth date error baby may take legal action - Irish Independent: "On the first day of the inquest in December last year, midwife Winifred Berkley told the court that following an ultrasound scan in February 2003 she had inadvertently written a due date of July 13 on Mrs Darcy Lampf's file when

You constantly amaze me!!

2006-05-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

Have I won the award for the worst blogger in the world yet? Coz I'm trying really, really hard but you wonderful people won't let me- believe me I am grateful. I have been around. Lurking without commenting. There are two reasons for this 1. Work is very very busy- I lurk quickly during the day to keep in touch with what is going on but I do not have time to post 2. I spend a lot of time on the

Maybe it's really going to happen.....

2006-04-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

I hope I didn't jinx myself with that title. I still don't feel pregnant. It is hard to believe there is life inside me, despite the ultrasounds, despite seeing the baby move, despite the fact that I caved and rented a doppler so I can hear the little heartbeat everyday. I think perhaps I'm scared to believe even though, as I get past every milestone and test it seems more likely, attaching

I'm back

2006-03-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry to have been away for so long. I just looked back and it is almost a month since I posted and still you haven't forgotton me. Kellie, Katie, Boliath, Feebee, Jenny, KellieandKids, Vivean ,Kath and Michelle all came over to ask for an update and to check in. Thank you all. I went for my final appointment with Dr Ding Dong all happy and confident only to find that Betty's heart had

The good and the unbelievable

2006-02-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

Firstly I want to thank you all for your comments and advice. It truly made me feel so comforted to receive all your good wishes. By this morning the spotting was less. I went to see Dr Ding-Dong. I joked when I saw him that did he really expect to get rid of me for two whole weeks. He smiled and said that he didn't really think I'd stay away that long. When I saw the first image my heart almost

It was all going a little too smoothly.

2006-02-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't been posting for a few reasons. 1. I love reading all the other blogs. You ladies and gentlemen of infertility bloglandia are fascinating. 2. I don't really know what to write about. 3. I go to bed at 8pm because I'm so tired. I have all the normal pregnancy symptoms, morning and evening sickenss sans vomiting, extreme fatigue, huge boobies etc etc but it seems kind of boring to

Ultrasound Results

2006-02-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

I am so sorry for not posting. We had our ultrasound on Friday morning and then went out of town for the weekend and I had no computer access. We saw and heard our baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks exactly. There is a second gestational sac but it is much smaller and there does not seem to be a yolk sac. Dr Ding-Dong said there was a tiny possibility it might be viable but it is unlikely. We are so

OK, If you insist......

2006-02-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

You know you've been a bad blogger when your blogfriends have to leave comments on your last post demanding an update. I've been spending my time reading everyone else's blogs. I feel that I just don't have much to write and I am in utter disbelief that I might actually be pregnant. I never thought I would ever say those words. I am so worried that this might be taken away from me at any moment.

The Beta is in

2006-01-27T17:17:00.000-08:00

My RE normally schedules betas for 12dp3dt. My date for beta was Saturday January 28th. Yesterday morning I rushed out the door to a client appointment, when I got there, I thought "oh shit, I forgot to put on a new estrogen patch after I got out of the shower". After my meeting, I called the RE's office to let them know I was patchless as I was not going to be home until 9 pm last night. My

Before Manuela has a heart attack..........

2006-01-24T16:57:00.000-08:00

That heading gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. Like I am part of a huge family. Manuela wants an update and I dare not disobey. I got up at 5:30 am and poas. Negative! Went back to bed with my heart pounding and feeling very down. Then I realized it was a different test from the one I had used previously and I went in to check the instructions. It wasn't an early detection test- Does that

Happy Birthday to me!

2006-01-23T18:05:00.000-08:00

Have I told you all how wonderful you are? That there is such a group of wonderful supportive people(who get it) just blows my mind. How I wish I had found you sooner. Thank you all for your kind words and advice and birthday wishes. I woke up this morning to all your comments and it really put a spring in my step. Then I peed on a stick. Yes I am one of the sad individuals who turns on her

Can I have a little whine with that?

2006-01-22T17:24:00.000-08:00

This is just a big old whine. I won't feel bad if you go away now and don't read any further. You won't find anything positive here. I feel totally and utterly paralyzed, unable to do anything except obsessively read blogs and sit on my arse until I know the outcome of this cycle. I hate waiting for anything. I know I'm not the first and I sure as hell won't be the last but JESUS, please make

The Numbers Game

2006-01-18T20:10:00.000-08:00

I started this post last night and didn't get it fininshed. It was written at a time when I was all happy and I let that bitch Hope poke her head around the door. Tuesday January 17th, 2006 Thank you all for your lovely comments. I know I've said it before but it really does mean a lot. I've noticed the general shock over my five embryo's and while I feel the support, I feel I want to explain

IVF # 2- Transfer

2006-01-16T21:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm on the couch, already bored with bedrest. One more day to go. I did pass the first few hours reading lots and lots of blogs which I thoroughly enjoyed. Now I'm looking to cause trouble but can't find any to cause. B is watching me with an eagle eye. I will be good-I don't have a choice. Today they transferred 5; yes that would be 5 embryos. The doc asked me how many bedrooms we had!!!!!

PIO, P E E OH

2006-01-14T16:25:00.000-08:00

I'll name that tune in 5! Come on now- sing along. Well, the first PIO shot wasn't bad. My best friend M gave it with B watching. He did a few shots into an orange for good measure. The talented M is a great shot giver and I didn't even feel the needle. I just felt some of the PIO itself going into my muscle towards the end of the shot. I heated the spot with my trusty hot water bottle and the

Quick Check!

2006-01-14T11:42:00.000-08:00

Of the 17 eggs, 14 were mature, all 14 are showing signs of fertilization. Tune in tomorrow for the next installment.

Reporting in!

2006-01-13T18:50:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much to everybody who stopped by with words of good wishes and encouragement. I truly appreciate it. I am plonked on the couch feeling pretty bloated and a little sore. Before the procedure, Dr Ding-Dong popped in and I predicted that he would retrieve between 10 and 15 eggs. He predicted he would get 18! Guess what, he got 17. I am thrilled. Last time we only had seven. We had 6

Just let me go to sleep......

2006-01-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

I love going to bed early. A good night for me is getting in to bed at 9, reading until 9:30 or 10 and then sleep until 6:30. Tonight I trigger at 11:30. I also have to get up at 6 for a work meeting. Typical. So here I am, it's 11:02 and the clock is sloooooooooowwwwwwwlllllyyyyyyy making it' s way toward 11:30. I've got everything ready to go. Shot at 11:30. Bed at 11:31. Did I tell you I love

Sling me up!

2006-01-10T19:53:00.000-08:00

On my first IVF my ovaries felt like they were going to pop and I wished I had a sling to hold them up. Walking was uncomfortable because they would jiggle (along with the excess pounds of belly fat!) A few months ago I was turned on to these and they have been a godsend during this second cycle. I call them my sling therapy. They hold everything in and while I still feel bloated, it is a

I am so happy at this moment in time!

2006-01-09T21:49:00.000-08:00

I hope I stay that way. Things are going really well. Really, really well. In fact they are going so well that it could all go to shit at any moment. You see while I was reading all the wonderful blogs thinking I really must post or I'll be so behind and then documenting figures will be such an insurmountable task that I won't do it and then I'll be sorry blah, blah, blah....., I came across this

This is my Life!

2006-01-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

I saw this here and thought it would be fun. Seemingly I did very well in the love department! as did P.This Is My Life, RatedLife: 7.3Mind: 6.8Body: 7.7Spirit: 5.6Friends/Family: 6.5Love: 9.1Finance: 6.9Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Cycle Day 5

2006-01-05T21:30:00.000-08:00

Rt Ovary-6 follicles 9x9, 8x7, 10x8, 7x7,8x7,8x8 Lt Ovary-6 follicles 7x6, 8x7, 9x9, 8x8, 7x7, 6x6 I tried to think of a title for this post, but frankly, I'm too tired. This morning I couldn't understand why I was still so exhausted (lupron exhausted) as I dragged myself to Dr Ding-Dongs office for a meeting with the dildo cam. I am thrilled with my response so far. Six follicles in each ovary

Suppression. Check.

2006-01-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

We have suppression. E2 = < 20 P4 = 0.43 I have 6 antral follicles on the right ovary and 4.5 on the left. (How do you have 4.5 follicles?) Dr Ding-Dong is pleased. He asked me how I was doing on the lupron and I said that it was ok so far, just a mild headache. Of course that question jinxed me because now I am nauseous and I have bad period cramps. Oh well, I’m pumping up the estrogen levels

A kick in the stomach!

2006-01-01T19:41:00.000-08:00

I have a good friend who has been going through this struggle with infertility for three years. Five IVF's later he and his wife got pregnant for the first time. They found out at Thanksgiving. I was so exited for them. They will be the best parents. Tonight I received this e-mail from him. "There's no easy way to say this but D and I went for our 10 week ultrasound Thursday and there was no

The Wait is Over and Recap

2006-01-01T11:34:00.000-08:00

Yes! It is officially cycle day 1. I woke up this morning to my new year gift from AF. We went to bed before midnight. We had a small celebration at 4pm which was midnight GMT, called my parents and toasted the new year with some champagne. We had take-out Indian food and played Blokus and backgammon like the boring old married couple we are. We could have gone to a couple of parties and I think

Still waiting.................

2005-12-31T23:05:00.000-08:00

That would be me. Still waiting.......................

The Waiting Game.

2005-12-30T17:32:00.000-08:00

How many posts on infertility blogs have the same title as this one. It seems I am always waiting for something, AF, lab results, to start, for acupuncture to do it's thing. I am not by nature a patient person and waiting really gets to me, although I have to say that infertility has taught me at least to be a little patient. Also, as I get older I realize how fast life is passing (God, how I

Better be a Better Blogger!

2005-12-28T20:29:00.000-08:00

I moved my blog after a measly 3 posts because I realised I did not want anyone I knew to read it. In case I want to bitch. I have been a less than stellar blogger because I spend my time reading on everyone else's blogs, marvelling at how well written they are. I laugh out loud at some of the posts and cry with others. B thinks I am slightly insane. Of course here I am seven shots into the

2005-12-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

If Only It Were True!

Christmas Shopping.

2005-12-03T14:36:00.000-08:00

My best friend since I was eight lives in Chicago and like me, all her family live in Ireland. She left me a message the other day while out shopping for something to wear for her work Christmas Party, that there was just nothing out there and she wanted to fly back to Ireland for the weekend to go clothes shopping. She said the same thing to her sister who bought her a ticket home for a

Time to Take the Finger Out!

2005-11-26T14:28:00.000-08:00

I just got back from my acupuncture session. B and I go together every Saturday and have done for the last 4 months. We wanted to do everything we could possibly do to make the next round of IVF work. Well, I did and B is just going along with it to keep me happy, darling that he is. He and S(acupuncturist) ganged up on me today. I've been sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I don't do any

Some More History

2005-11-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

I had an IUI with medication on November 11th and 12th. B's sperm count was really low so Dr Ding-Dong said that there was not much hope of the cycle working. I had two follicles which he said was a bit of a disappointing response to the Menopur. He said if he had known I would respond like that he would have started the meds on cycle day 2 instead of 3. When I had IVF in July, he could count 12

A Little History

2005-11-19T20:19:00.000-08:00

B. and I have been married for 9 years. Only in the last 18 months have we taken the finger out and really got the ball rolling on our infertility journey. B's sperm counts have been abysmal to not so bad. I had a d&c to remove polyps in April. One failed IUI in May with low sperm count led us to IVF in June/July. That didn't work. At first I was gung-ho to go straight into the next cycle but